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What's amusing me today

Russ
5 May 2023
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    Mangetout
    Squad 3166 posts
    30 Sep 2026, 11:42 p.m. 30 Sep 2026, 11:42 p.m.
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    @Russ has written:
    @Mangetout has written:
    @Sean has written:

    Tottenham and Tottenham home win fun facts and stats appear to be the new, and much funnier, football equivalent of "your mum / wife is so fat..." jokes.

    Won't be too long before these aren't funny more

    I'm sorry, in what world is Spurs being shit ever not going to be funny?

    When our home record is as bad as theirs.

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    Simon
    Squad 8721 posts
    7 Oct 2026, 8:19 p.m. 7 Oct 2026, 8:19 p.m.
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    Location, location - climate change consultants who travel a lot for work (ok..), so need to be close to a major airport (what the fuck?)

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    JimShady
    Squad 5107 posts
    7 Oct 2026, 9:38 p.m. 7 Oct 2026, 9:38 p.m.
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    To be fair they might be pro climate change?

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    tricky
    Board 8902 posts
    7 Oct 2026, 9:41 p.m. 7 Oct 2026, 9:41 p.m.
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    Either way it must be hard reporting on the current accurate state of climate change when you've just affected it on the way here.

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    noodle
    Squad 1200 posts
    9 Oct 2026, 11:14 a.m. 9 Oct 2026, 11:14 a.m.
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    The Beeb’s footy predictions this week are apparently Chris Sutton vs the singer from Starsailor.

    Lads, I think your format might be a little past it’s prime. Who’s up next week, Hurricane #1’s van driver?

    Psychobel, BrettWilliams and Simon like this.

    favorite 3

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    tricky
    Board 8902 posts
    9 Oct 2026, 12:08 p.m. 9 Oct 2026, 12:08 p.m.
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    Satire is dead.

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    Seven
    Squad 2152 posts
    9 Oct 2026, 12:10 p.m. 9 Oct 2026, 12:10 p.m.
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    Only the strongest will survive.

    Sean likes this.

    favorite 1

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    dj_bobbins
    Squad 1202 posts
    9 Oct 2026, 9:31 p.m. 9 Oct 2026, 9:31 p.m.
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    Nice photo of Morato..

    www.instagram.com/p/DdfBQEeOl6q/?srtk=NjEyaHBjNXoyZ3Nz

    BrettWilliams and Mangetout like this.

    favorite 2

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    zippygotsillyagain
    Squad 297 posts
    10 Oct 2026, 4:25 a.m. 10 Oct 2026, 4:25 a.m.
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    @noodle has written:

    The Beeb’s footy predictions this week are apparently Chris Sutton vs the singer from Starsailor.

    Lads, I think your format might be a little past it’s prime. Who’s up next week, Hurricane #1’s van driver?

    That's just another illusion.

    Resident_Alien and Sean like this.

    favorite 2

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    Russ
    Squad 8112 posts
    10 Oct 2026, 5:14 p.m. 10 Oct 2026, 5:14 p.m.
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    Been quite a week on the dating front. Started with the insane alcoholic who drank four bottles of wine, told me she wouldn't have sex with contraception because she's Christian (I was neither drunk nor stupid enough to go along with this), almost refused to leave the following day, and then stole another bottle of my wine when she did.

    Then on the opposite end of the spectrum I went for a walk along the lake at 7:30 this morning with an absolutely gorgeous woman and her dog, then we went to the farmers' market and brunch. All being well seeing her again tomorrow evening, really hope she doesn't turn out to be a lunatic.

    Dating in your 50s really can be a rollercoaster.

    Psychobel likes this.

    favorite 1

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    tricky
    Board 8902 posts
    10 Oct 2026, 5:39 p.m. 10 Oct 2026, 5:39 p.m.
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    @Russ has written:

    the insane alcoholic who drank four bottles of wine, told me she wouldn't have sex with contraception because she's Christian (I was neither drunk nor stupid enough to go along with this), almost refused to leave the following day, and then stole another bottle of my wine when she did.

    Clearly wanted it up the arse. Which is probably where your stolen bottle is now. Girl has to find a solution, if you can't take a hint.

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    Seven
    Squad 2152 posts
    10 Oct 2026, 5:54 p.m. 10 Oct 2026, 5:54 p.m.
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    A mate at work who is mid forties is on the dating scene.

    The stories are amusing but dating at this age doesn’t seem like it’s for the feint hearted.

    Recent dates include a woman calling him fat (he’s not), one saying she loved him after a couple of dates and wanted to clean his house and another getting a bit aggressive with a noisy child.

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    Sean
    Squad 2647 posts
    10 Oct 2026, 7:47 p.m. 10 Oct 2026, 7:47 p.m.
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    @Seven has written:

    A mate at work who is mid forties is on the dating scene.

    The stories are amusing but dating at this age doesn’t seem like it’s for the feint hearted.

    Recent dates include a woman calling him fat (he’s not), one saying she loved him after a couple of dates and wanted to clean his house and another getting a bit aggressive with a noisy child.

    Your mate needs to up his standards.

    I had great time dating in my 40s..

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    BrettWilliams
    Squad 3189 posts
    10 Oct 2026, 8:04 p.m. 10 Oct 2026, 8:04 p.m.
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    @Russ has written:

    Been quite a week on the dating front. Started with the insane alcoholic who drank four bottles of wine, told me she wouldn't have sex with contraception because she's Christian (I was neither drunk nor stupid enough to go along with this), almost refused to leave the following day, and then stole another bottle of my wine when she did.

    Then on the opposite end of the spectrum I went for a walk along the lake at 7:30 this morning with an absolutely gorgeous woman and her dog, then we went to the farmers' market and brunch. All being well seeing her again tomorrow evening, really hope she doesn't turn out to be a lunatic.

    Dating in your 50s really can be a rollercoaster.

    Good stuff. Mate of mine who's single in his mid-40s and living in London was telling me recently about his internet dating, which is totally alien to me.

    Apparently he'd been chatting to a couple of women (obviously separately) and arranged to meet. He got the first one to Regent's Park for mid-morning on a Sunday. They met at the refreshments kiosk, he bought her cup of tea and they went for a circular walk around the park. Got back, said goodbye, waited 15 minutes and the second one turned up. Refreshments kiosk, cup of tea, same walk, etc.

    I'm told this sort of practicality is quite normal. Fair play.

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    tricky
    Board 8902 posts
    10 Oct 2026, 8:11 p.m. 10 Oct 2026, 8:11 p.m.
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    @BrettWilliams has written:

    I'm told this sort of practicality is quite normal. Fair play.

    That's not practical at all. Us old men need a piss after two cups of tea and a walk.

    I hope at least he wore dark trousers.

    Psychobel likes this.

    favorite 1

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    BrettWilliams
    Squad 3189 posts
    10 Oct 2026, 8:23 p.m. 10 Oct 2026, 8:23 p.m.
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    @tricky has written:
    @BrettWilliams has written:

    I'm told this sort of practicality is quite normal. Fair play.

    That's not practical at all. Us old men need a piss after two cups of tea and a walk.

    I hope at least he wore dark trousers.

    Knowing my friend as I do, I'd imagine a tactical piss-break was factored into the 15 minutes.

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