I never win
5 May 2023
573
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Having spent 53 years without having a doctor stick a finger up my bottom, I have now had the privilege of this experience twice in a week. As well as the specialist using something called a telescope! I don't know if it was like the one used by Patrick Moore, as I didn't want to look. But it felt like one. I also gained a new piece of equipment for the bathroom to sit alongside my ‘Poo Knife’ and ‘Pissy Cup’, the ‘Shitty Tupaware’. Having been tested and fingered, I received an all-clear. I thought I had done enough to avoid ‘the end of level boss’ Mr colonoscopy, but alas , I had to face him down. The only upside being that I got the all clear and the specialist commented on my adherence to the bowel clearance and that I have the colon of a Twenty year old.
Which was a nice compliment .
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Excellent news and congratulations on the youthful shit processing equipment.
Tell me, do you tend to avoid an excessive consumption of red meat and instead favour a more fibrous diet? Asking for a friend.
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The absolute epitome of 'fuck about, find out'. Brick to the dome and another to the spuds...
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Ah, apologies. Worth seeing again, though, right?
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Bricky bollocks/shit tracksuit guy has been arrested on a list of offences.
Silly sod went home, did a bit of domestic violence (of course) and when the coppers turned up they recognised him, nicked him and he was taken to hospital for a head injury where he subsequently racially abused a member of staff.
No word on if the plod stamped on his head (or gave him another nudge in the nuts) but I certainly won’t mind if they did.
Turns out he’s a local painter & decorator (oh joy) known in the area for indulging in sniff and booze and getting into fights.
At least he won’t be siring any more kids…
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An assist and a key contribution in two of the three goals we scored in a 'thrilling' draw today. Persona non grata just because I laughed at someone who repeatedly tried to do me, and hurt themselves running into me.
Still find it funny.
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From twatter.
A kid shouted "Joey Deacon" at me the other day. He was like 10. He couldn't possibly know who Joey Deacon was. His parents aren't old enough to know who Joey Deacon was. This is a third generation insult.
I'm quite proud of the British public, it nearly brought a tear to my eye.
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“30 pfennig Lee”. Bravo.
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It was the Reichspfennig/Reichsmark during WWII.
Tut tut.
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At least he sticks to beer and biking nowadays though.
