Someone has decided that they are taking me up the corporates for the wet hams. I am neither a client, nor organising the ticket.
What does that make me?
Apart from the normal flotsam.
2 May 2023
1.0K
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Not a rich cunt, not a client cunt, I guess just a cunt.
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Sounds about right.
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Barclays Bank is annoying me. Making me rant like a lunatic, to be more accurate.
Long story, but the short version is that we found a sofa we liked and tried to pay for it via a link the shop sent us. I confirmed the sale via the Barclays app, as usual. Then I got a message to call the bank. Got told this couldn't be sorted on the phone and that I had to go to a branch, in person, with two forms of I.D., but they've closed the branch in Southwell so I had to go to Newark. They've closed the one in Newark too, but Barclays have a tiny office - literally the size of a small bathroom, with one small desk and two chairs - in a post office. There's only one person working there (you couldn't fit anyone else in the room/cupboard) so you have to sit outside the door and wait, opposite the vape 'n' phone counter. Eventually, I get in there and the Barclays woman phones the bank to discuss my account. She has to go through the same farcical and long-winded process as you or I have to do. Then when she's eventually got through to a human, the call drops. There is almost no signal inside this room, she says. And she can't have a landline. On the fourth attempt, it gets sorted without me showing any ID at all and I go home and pay for the sofa. But my personal account has now disappeared from my mobile app. So the bank's chatbot tells me to uninstall and reinstall the app. I uninstall it but can't reinstall it because my account is blocked. And I need to call the bank. I'm currently waiting for a callback to try and fix it...
This is the short version. Fact.
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CAMERA 2 CUTAWAY <Tricky puts down beer and rubs hands with glee>
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Should have paid with crypto Charlie.
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"Nothing to hide, nothing to fear."
Suck it up lads, this is barely scratching the surface of it all.
Ironically the only time I've used a banking app, is so that someone else could operate the account, without all the damn fool questions or rules (you might call them laws). The notion that they are for the account holders convenience and security is completely bonkers. A failure of civil resistance to these dark holes that we are being led down will end badly.
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As if by magic, the shopkeeper appeared
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....I've not been able to type much...what with all that rubbing my hands with ghee. Damn my cursory reading skills.
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<canned laughter>
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I wonder how Brexit is affecting the import of canned laughter.
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My not having the foresight to book my barbers appointment as I usually do, and, because I really need my barnet to be presentable on Monday for a work meeting (I mean, it's not contractual or anything, obviously, but, y'know..) I'm now running the gauntlet at the only decent local walk in place.
I'd forgotten how much I hate the (always unfounded due to the unwritten but universally accepted and adhered to barbershop etiquette and laws of bloke) Saturday afternoon 'its my fucking turn after him over there, there and that young lad there, you'd better not be thinking you're in front, pal' mentalness. Or maybe that's me.
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TV shows getting hay and straw confused.
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And even if you get the dodgy barber who gives you the haircut of a mentalist, when he holds the mirror up behind your head and you survey the god-awful landscape that is now your hairstyle, you are obliged to nod appreciatively and say “that’s great, thanks.”
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Still cutting my own hair. When asked "what mentalist did that to you", I can at least say "me".
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I have not been to a barber in years, I go to a stylist in the hope of covering up for my increasingly threadbare pate. Current stylist is a very amusing fat gay man.
