What's amusing me today

My old employer had its name plastered on that for a while. It was because we were supporting STEM education, of course, and not because the Marketing Director was like a 14-year-old who gets a funny feeling in his pants whenever he sees a fast car.

The Daily Mail headline about Bobby Charlton's funeral:
'Elegantly gliding around Old Trafford one last time'

In a hearse...

Didn't take you long to move to the Mail did it? An hour?

Derby’s facup run

I'd wager that's some heat map.

"I'm playing the Morgan Gibbs-White role"

Heatmap like a dropped coal.

Deadlegs.

Deadgreggs?

And still only finished third

I shouldn't laugh but I work with some dozey fuckers. One of the owners gave a young lady a introduction work out and left her on the leg press after she was done.

I clearly could see that she wasn't doing well even though I had my own client. I went over to the owner and said you might want to call 911 (the Yank equivalent of 999 of course) as this woman was having a seizure. Her answer was, "Are you sure?". I said, "yes, very", as the woman was seizing and blowing water bubbles.

Even then she hesitated and said, "well what happens if she wakes up?".
I replied, "well that's a good thing isn't it. Now go and call".
"Oh okay".

I then told the other trainers to stop what they were doing and help me get this lady's (not unsubstantial frame) off the leg press and onto the floor where we could put her in the recovery position. Luckily the others aren't as dim and did a good job helping me get her down to the ground. At that point she woke from her seizure and started screaming. The female trainer freaked out and I reassured her that was a good thing as she was now conscious and was just freaking out because she didn't know where she was for a second".

I still wear masks so I made a joke that, "Lisa (the client's name) I get that reaction all the time when people see my face". The lady looked at me puzzled then laughed. I then explained that she had had a mild seizure and whether this has happened to her before. It apparently had. (Something that she should have put on her intake form). I said she was in good hands and that the Fire Department (they have Paramedics as part of that service here), would be there soon. I also told the other trainers who were with her to just tell them that she had a seized and went back to my client.

My client, the great granddaughter of a famous mobster took one look at me and said the most gangster thing ever. "In my day we would have just shot her and moved on'. I can't say I didn't laugh, because I did.

Chicago: Enjoying the excitement.

You can’t tell a story and just leave that one hanging.

Two sets of protests in Hereford city centre today:

*A silent stop the war in Gaza protest.

A marching protest which was opposed to taxes (taxes are theft), opposed to 5G (causes cancer), opposed to medication (it is all poison), and global warming is a hoax (we are carbon, to achieve zero carbon they must exterminate us). *

I was quite confused by whom the latter attracted. Probably cider drinkers.

Matt Le Tissier by the sounds of it