The odious Richard Keys did an astonishing interview with the Times over the weekend - apparently the sit-down was orchestrated by him to 'set the record straight' over claims he'd left his wife while she was fighting cancer to be with a friend of his daughter's.
There are many eye-raising lines in there, but probably the biggest relates to the Christmas after he left his wife when nobody wanted a bar of him. Keys said it was 'his best Christmas ever' because he sat with a bottle of champagne, a can of tuna and watched three films back-to-back.
No mention of whether he then gorged on Toblerone and drove to Dundee in his bare feet...