Percy says Spurs have rejected our initial bid of around £38m for Bergvall. Our number one summer target apparently and we're expected to make a renewed offer. Spurs looking for closer to £50m.
Also he had a man bun so he's clearly a heavy metal hipster. The Right type of hipster. The type to rock up at Rock City and get down with the masses. Sure, he looks like a nazi but who doesn't nowadays.
I say yay!
Now watch him end up on the injury list with Taiwo to see who can stay buggered for the longest.
I suspect a potential move to an upper-end Premier League club hasn't materialised, likely because he's good but not quite good enough to lay out big money as a player fast approaching 30.
Or maybe Danny Dyer sent Tamer Hassan and Frank Harper around to his gaff to 'ave a faackin' word.
Still five weeks til the start of the season so, assuming the reports are true, he's given up on a big move pretty early but I guess if there's no interest at all...
He'd command a large fee and big wages as a player who's good but not elite. He's not going to improve any further like he might if he was five years younger, so there's likely better value elsewhere.
Or, as a married father, he might simply be settled and not want to uproot his family. If pushed, I'd wager the first scenario is more likely.
Not sure if you're aware - maybe it's part of the joke - but Danny Dyer is Bowen's father-in-law. Bowen is married to his daughter, the brilliantly named Dani Dyer.
Well, quite. I was making a familial reference, as opposed to 'which famous people do I know who support West Ham?' and accidentally stumbling on the bloke's father-in-law.
What I feel hilarious in the general dialogue around this is the suggestion that Danny Dyer could intimidate* a fit professional sportsman. One an absolutely ripped athlete, one a paunchy aging actor.
"I fuck dah-knee dai-yer everyday mate, get out of my face before I make you todays instalment."
It was an attempt at a Football Factory gag - a film from more than two decades ago about a bunch of hooligan thugs running around London kicking the shit out of people.
The fact this obviously needs to be explained shows that I need to do better.