• 24 Apr 2024, 1:08 p.m.

    Were you invaded by horses?

  • 24 Apr 2024, 3:40 p.m.

    No, only fools.

  • 24 Apr 2024, 8:09 p.m.

    Pity them.

  • 24 Apr 2024, 11:22 p.m.

    I've that scene from Men Behaving where Tony tries to cheer Debs up playing the guitar and singing "Cray-zee Hor-sez A-wooo A-wooo" going round on all day on a loop.

  • 25 Apr 2024, 11:05 a.m.

    Thank you for your communication regarding the return of your equipment, supplied as part of the contract which you have subsequently terminated, thus depriving us of the service which you previously undertook to supply.

    Unfortunately our staff are busy attending to other matters, but of course your equipment is available for collection at any time. You will find it stored in the skip, in front of our office window, in the car park. Other storage or return options are available for a reasonable charge. Feel free to contact our sales line for options.

    As a result of your decision to cancel our contract with you, any further request will unfortuinately have to be treated as an out of contract support request. We bill by the hour, or part thereof. You qualify for our competetive introductory offer of only £100 per hour (or part thereof). Feel free to get in touch further, if you wish to take advantage of this time limited introductory offer.

    We assure you that your business is important to us.

    Yours.
    etc.

  • 25 Apr 2024, 3:23 p.m.

    I just switched from Sky Broadband and they sent a box to send back the router otherwise I get charged.

    What do they do with a router that is, to my memory at least 6 years old.

    Assume they just hope I don't bother sending back and they can charge me?

  • 25 Apr 2024, 4:07 p.m.

    Send them an email confirming that you have received their request to engage your services. Note in a footnote that the absence of a reply to your email within five working days, will indicate acceptance of your terms and conditions. Send separate emails ( not copied in) to their support department, billing department, and ask where in their contract they have conditions for return of equipment, what they intended to do with it, and your intention to return it, charge them, and complain to the ombudsman about their frivolous and wasteful practice. Also ask them all which department to address your invoice to. Send it back. Along with an invoice for your charge for admin and packing charge ( time, not materials ).

    If you want.

    Plusnet insisted on sending me a replacement router ( that I had no intention of ever using, and didn't want ). They then charged me for the postage and packaging. I estimate that would have cost them well over a hundred quid before they refunded it.

    I am a great believer in true cost of doing business, and will not allow others to push non-contracted costs onto me. Happy to piss about sending emails for my own amusement though.

    The best win i've had so far this year was a cash gift by my credit card company. Because I couldn't log into my account to administer it. I specifically said that I didn't want a adjustment ( low three figures ), but they insisted so that I was totally satisfied that my complaint was resolved.

    I can be quite awkward. Nothing personal. Only business.

  • 25 Apr 2024, 10:19 p.m.

    In response to Crazy Horses:

    Tune. (The original, not so much the tribute).

  • 29 Apr 2024, 6:08 p.m.

    I mentioned weekend before last that we thought one of our cats was on his way out. He's made a remarkable recovery on steroids. Well, they worked for me last year. Only problem was that he's been constipated since about last Wednesday. We've been feeding him vet-prescribed catshit juice* and finally he's unclogged himself.
    It's the little things. Although what just happened was certainly not little. As his Bumble namesake would say 'that's HUUUUUUGE'.

    *to enable, not made of

  • 30 Apr 2024, 10:44 p.m.

    Just realised that I booked a tee time for 20 minutes before kick off on Saturday. Also realised that I don't especially care. May turn my phone off and watch the recording when I get home.

  • 30 Apr 2024, 11:51 p.m.

    Thinking I've had my fussy with my Tuesday night game. Looking for another game, or might do golf or something else. Need a bit more exercise than I'm getting in a game that's gone stale for me.

  • 1 May 2024, midnight

    Did they ban backheels?

  • 1 May 2024, 2:18 p.m.

    Perhaps Tricky needs to give his team mates a pep-talk.
    Sorry, a Guardiola-talk.

  • 6 May 2024, 9:34 p.m.

    Got struck down by a big last night, hot and cold sweats and feel very run down etc So spent the day in bed whilst the wife took the kids out.

    Watched the Snooker, Worthing v Braintree (3-4), Crewe v Doncaster (0-2) and currently Palace giving Man Utd a hiding.

    Despite feeling like crap it’s been quite enjoyable. I can’t remember the last time I did so little in a day.

  • 6 May 2024, 10:46 p.m.

    Bumped into a football friend in one of pubs today. He was quite pissed*. Shame he was with his partner, or I'd have lightened his wallet through the mechanism of the pool table.

    * Extremely.

  • 8 May 2024, 3:28 p.m.

    My Mother and sister visit the new Manor next week. We have been so busy getting the whole thing livable and stair friendly that I haven't really had a moment to myself. Since moving into the house we have spent $100,000 on repairs and improvements. And yes it was a studs up gut rehab but the builder was such a charlatan and so difficult to do business with it became an almost year long odyssey. The list of things we had to do were hair raising. We could have sued but still would have had to spend the money to fix the house so went the second way.

    In the middle of all this, Wifey decided to have a laser treatment to her face which basically took all her skin off. Cost me a fair amount of dosh and she was quite unwell for about six weeks. Then she decided to take most of the grass out the back garden because she wanted to be a Botanist. All whilst going into menopause. Yippppeeeee! At least she has quit drinking for the time being....

    Anyway, hopefully the house is ready for mum and sister. The problem is, since we have spent a silly amount of money and I pay the mortgage twice a month I still have to work a lot so I will be a shit host. Tricky if you are smart, you should ask my visitors if they can carry a box of comics with them. If not, then I will contact you to arrange some kind of shipping assuming there are actually comics left after the heating crisis apocalypse.

    Ironically, in the ultimate act of neighbourhood rebellion we will be having a tea party on our front lawn (it's a corner lot so substantial) and all the corner neighbours will be invited and we will be quiet. The latinos won't know what the fuck to do! They will probably do wheelies and doughnuts past us in their souped up muffler free vehicles. We will offer them cake. That'll learn 'em.

    Maywood Manor is almost a go.

    Chicago: Cultured.