Mundane Moments

I also went to the tip at the weekend and responsibly disposed of a glass topped garden table, two wicker chairs, a large suitcase and a broken telly.

Bought Villa tickets. Have now had to give them to a mate. Mrs Shady tells me missing Little Miss Shadys 5th birthday isn't really on. FFS.

What if it was a weekday and she was at school, you at work (in office). No difference, in fact still spending more time with her if you go to game.

If the party is actually that day then that does complicate things.

This is your fault for not specifically historically limiting yourself to reproductive sex on dates that would ensure any birth took place outside the football season.

Her actual birthday is the day of the game (Sunday). I had strongly suggested to Mrs Shady that we have her party the day before (Saturday) "as getting a venue will be easier" ... By which I meant let's keep the Sunday free so I can go to the game. So we booked a venue and bouncy castle for the Saturday. However Mrs Shady took so long making the invites (it's her 'thing') that another child from Little Miss Shadys social group arranged their party for the Saturday and sent out invites. So we've had to rearrange our party to the Sunday. Even then I was suggesting having it early in the day so I could still go to the game, but God botherers are using the church hall, and we could only get 1pm to 3pm. This has had a knock-on effect that a mate of mine and my brother are also having to miss going to the game as their kids will be coming to the party. I've told their respective partners that there's really no need for the dad's to come, but their respective partners have both insisted they do.

That does not negate my point about you letting Little Jim do the planning.

Should've sorted the invites yourself. Now three men's Sundays are ruined, numbnutz.

Godbotherers using a church hall on a Sunday morning! Whatever next?

Shouldn't they be in the actual church doing the bothering?

Tricky burnt it down.

Pro footballers are more likely to have been born between September and Christmas each year. It means that they tend to be physically bigger within their year group. So they get more of the ball. So they get better with the ball. They can keep hold of it easier. It's a self fulfilling circle (there's probably a better term than that but it escapes me right now). So whilst it would have been better to have a child in the closed season, I gambled on the chance of my child becoming a pro footballer. However given my child is female, that dream is now of course dead.

Women famously cannot become professional footballers.

Or at least good ones.

This is a worrisome state of affairs. Since when have all parents been required to attend a child’s birthday party?? In fact never mind the mothers insisting the fathers attend, what even are the mothers doing there?

Not if they’ve got any sense