I can change a tyre but there's no way I'm going to demonstrate that in one of those parking areas right next to the A1. Especially when it's on the driver's side. Let someone else (who, as Seven points out, I'm paying for whether I call them out or not) park his big van with flashing lights behind first.
I have a spare wheel and am quite adept at changing the tyres on my car. Apart from after having it for a service and the fucking mechanic use their electronic equipment to tighten up the lug nuts to a 1000 and then it becomes a bit of a daunting task. Also i renewed my extended warranty and found out much to my woe that the extended extended warranty doesn't cover tyres anymore. The cnuts. With the roads in Chicago I was getting about three to four new tyres for free during the halcyon days of car insurance coverage. I definitely needed it too as we are pot hole city due to road works most of the summer in the 100F heat and then the pot holes in the -30F winter. Spring and Autumn are alright.
I can change a wheel, though largely it's something I get someone else to do in an emergency. Today I replaced my Rear Inner passenger side light cluster, as a result of accidental damage (my bin blew into it, during the latest storm, and smashed the glass). It was entirely trouble free, and successful.
This would appear to be a good time to drop into the conversation a standard. In the eighties I was friend of a friends witha band called "Doog", from Halifax I think...who were largely notable for the awesome "Terry and June"* A member of the band had a breakdown on the motorway, and unwisely decided to pop the bonnet and have a shufty on the hard shoulder. Was ploughed into from behind while he was bent over the engine compartment. Broke pretty much every bone in his body. Recovery was slow, and not, in the time that I was aware, fully complete.
* Chorus: "They say saucy words like sausage, knickers, bristols, and balloons, but you never hear them say 'fuck' on Terry and June."
Haven't the those cool fixie bike cats moved onto some sort of airless solid tyre solution made achievable through modern advancements in innovative materials science to negetate hitherto barriers in practicalities regarding appilcation and all round general inhetent shitness yet?
I mean .... Yeah. Kinda. You can get very puncture proof ones. There's also these gel kit things that you can put in instead of air to repair a puncture easily. But they're a bit of a messy temporary thing. There's also these:
Played football yesterday. It was mostly the same old crap, different day. Near the end, possibly my last kick of the game. I was down the right wing, chopped back inside and eyed up a curled shot to the far corner. A defender was coming out to me, and another coming back, closing the space. I decided I could get the shot off. As I hit it both their arms and legs were out, about five years from me, forming a shield shaped aperture about a ball and a half width wide, by two high. Drove it through the gap, with a touch of curl, hitting the base of the far post on the first bounce, and straight in. Unstoppable. It was a peak Robbie Fowler class finish.
Like with all addictions, I choose to remember that to bring me back to the game, rather than the crap that preceded it.