What's pleasing me today

Wouldn't you rather have a Lamb and Tears Pot Noodle?
You've changed.

I had a wank earlier. 2 in one day is a bit much post 40.

News to me at 53.

What?

53 in a day?!
<Doffs cap*>

*Not a euphemism

No wonder I've got tendonitis in my shoulder these days.

Disco Shoulder. Like Tennis Elbow but with more Chris Wood.

Would you prescribe Disco Biscuits for that ailment?

I remembered to only punch the air one handed for the 3 goals. I totally forgot at full time. Straight to the freezer for a bag of something frozen (not disco biscuits).

Aldi used to sell Disco Biscuits but renamed them to Groovy Biscuits when they realised that some wag in marketing had snuck one through.

Is this why you returned to doing an honest days work for a living as a painter and decorator after your stint as being some wag in marketing?

Every time I have to use the aa I am pleasantly surprised by every aspect of the service they provide - have always got to the call quickly, the guys (and it has always been guys) are friendly and knowledgeable and the problem has been resolved straightforwardly. Which is astonishingly unusual for any large organisation these days.

I assume they'll soon wake up and realise they can make more money by being shit.

This post is not sponsored.

My walking boots developed an annoying squeak that sounded a bit like a small dog yapping in the distance. I waxed the boots and the squeak appears to have gone.

How often are you using the AA? (assume automobile, not alcohol?) Do you perhaps need a new car?

In the last 5 years, 6 times, i think. Punctures for me and Mrs Simon, 3 flat batteries for Mrs S (ahem) and a thing where a stone got stuck in my brake pad. Only the last one in my current car.

Sounds like you need to learn how to change a wheel.

I’ve thought this before when calling out the recovery services. But soon thought what’s the point and I may as well use something I’m paying for.