Quick wet wipe after the Happy Finish?
2 May 2023
2.0K
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Have to replace the tires on my car, and because I drive a short man syndrome Jeep with massive wheels and jacked up suspension they're eyewateringly expensive.
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Sorry about the cunt tax
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This is why I like my old shed of a car. It costs less to run annually than one tyre on a 'nice' car*.
Also. It works**.
* Not implying that Russ's car is nice.
** Although it was touch and go at the last MOT.
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When you finish having a shit, get all done up, get back to your desk, and then realize that was just phase 1.
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Knee injury. Probably cartilage.
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Having snagged tickets for Lords tomorrow, am now stuck indefinitely at Newark having just been deplaned.
Thank you United Airlines. -
There's direct trains from Newark Northgate to London. Just do that instead. Not sure why you are flying anyway you eco terrorist.
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If you tried a little bit harder I'm sure you could get that nice Mr. Trump to get you on the first plane out of the country.
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Not sure they play cricket in El Salvador, perhaps a nice game of (prison yard) baseball?
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We have tickets for the first test at Old Trafford. Last time we did the first day of a test at Old Trafford, the wife had to stop me pissing in the wardrobe later that evening in my drunken stupor. I've been offered a business schmooze for the second day of the test which realistically I have to do which means I wont be able to do the first day. Why? because Im too fucking stupid to not get utterly shit faced and be a mess the following day.
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I went to day at the test once which ended much earlier than expected so we had to nail all our booze in about an hour. We then piled down the Strat to celebrate the win.
I woke up the next morning still pissed and there was some green sick next to my bed, the clock said 8.10 so I was also late for work but far too pissed to drive. I rang my dad asking what the fuck to do and he said go back to bed you stupid bastard as it's 8.10 at night, not the morning. I was hungry so i went and got myself a Chinese.
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The business has concluded that I am far too fucking stupid to risk going to day one of the test. The business is correct
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Had a break in at work. Woken at 3 by the alarm company. Looked on the camera and saw 2 scroats in, watched them leave and then came in.
Can't see anything stolen, but a couple of doors broken and an internal window smashed.
Ace.
The police are deciding if they need to bother attending
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As part of the £100 I've paid for a MyForest Pro membership this year, you're give a one-time 20% of voucher for the club shop. Yet you can't use it for the shirts. Cunts.
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Watching France v Germany. Got a slap from the missus for saying that French women have always gone down easily.
