The Mundane medical thread

My wife’s great grandma died last month at 104 years old. Lived independently in her Manchester flat until the weeks before her death, she didn’t even have any illness as such, just her body started to give up and once she knew she wouldn’t be going home she gave up. Quite an innings.

Just been to the doctor for a bunch of precautionary stuff (annual cholesterol and liver enzyme tests, STI panel etc). My blood pressure is 112/60 which the doctor says is extremely healthy for a man at my age.

I take this as a green light to have a large weekend.

My friend, stage 4 lung cancer, diagnosed in October 2022, still going strong. Has had two rumours on the brain, surgery to remove both, biggest side effect has been a loss of appetite for beer, odd for a Scotsman.

He has a 13 year old son as well. Everyone knows at some point it's all going to head south quickly.

Yes. It’s been troubling me that he and I fell out a few years ago, having previously been friends for a long time. We never did make up because, you know, there’s always plenty of time for that….

If you are going to get cancer that ends you, over and done with quickly is ideal.
Friend of mine who is insanely fit discovered he had advanced prostate cancer through a routine check. Had it whipped out quick. Also went very public to encourage other men to get tested. businesscloud.co.uk/news/tech-entrepreneur-provides-update-after-cancer-op/

Re the prostate cancer check thing; motion seconded. Seán Snr. had no symptoms to speak at all of until after his diagnosis, by which point the cancer had already spread to his bones.

Except he the decided to baffle medical science by hanging on for quite some time beyond his short prognosis. Albeit quite a grim existence for the old boy by the end, spending all of his time completely smacked up to the eyeballs on pain relief and quiey praying for a swift exit. As were we all for him.

Get checked.

What do we actually mean by "get checked" ?

I had a stunning 25-30 year old nurse spread gel on my balls and check them with an ultrasound last week. All clear pleasingly, but my god I really had to concentrate on reciting the 1998-1999 Forest team in my head for a few minutes.

I went for a PSA blood test this morning. I did one about six years ago but thought it was time to check again. The nurse said that I also needed to book an appointment with the GP, because the PSA test isn't that reliable. With a knowing look, she said "the doctor needs to do the other thing". Not looking forward to that.

Next time she checks your balls, ask her to stick her finger up your bum too. That's how you check for an enlarged prostate.

You might need to think of Maggie Thatcher.

A PSA test. But you're better off asking an actual doctor or someone with a semblance of medical knowledge beyond hunsbook-level anecdotal experience, obvs.

Did you remember Hugo Porfirio and Richard Gough?

Having lost 3 uncles* since the Play off semi final to Cancer and the last of those only two weeks ago to prostate cancer, if you haven’t had a PSA check, get one. If he had, he may well still be with us, instead he kept putting it off and by then…

*yes there is an Oscar Wilde pun in there but frankly its too early.

Seems to have developed a bit of a fever overnight. Woke up at 4am shivering and put the heat blanket on. Feeling very achy so taken some paracetamol. I don't feel like I'm burning up any more which is good.

So Wifey and i got glucose monitors to wear for two weeks. Some very interesting insights. During the day my glucose levels are low, 80ish maybe around 100 after eating. Caffeine brings down my blood pressure and my glucose drops too.

At night, because I have sleep apnea but wear a C-Pap you would assume that would help keep me on an even keel. Well I'm fucked. I wake up sweating up once, maybe twice a night. My glucose levels are sky high 177. It seems the C=Pap isn't helping with the apnea much and I am on a massive cortisole dose every day. My glucose levels are very high in the morning at work (because everyone of my work colleagues annoy me) and my cortisol is very spiked until they all fuck off around noon and I am left alone to work with my clients and the levels drop like a rock back to normal.

So essentially, my body is very very resilient but constantly under pressure due to cortisol spikes due to sleep issues and work issues. This explains why i can lift an incredible amount of weight at work. I wonder if my adrenaline- fight or flight response wasn't so high if I could achieve such numbers. I doubt it.

So, basically I have to look into managing my stress and looking at alternatives to the C-Pap. Lovely.

Chicago: Stress Monkey.

Dr Psychobel prescribes a good wank and joint.

And a Pot Noodle for afters?