• 8 Oct 2023, 8:37 p.m.

    Mother in law was visiting this weekend. This is probably an unfortunate time to have bought a house with four flights of stairs.

    She being 75 years old slipped on said stairs. She has buggered her hip, ankle and ankle definitely sprained her groin. Might be a tear. Also feeling nauseous. She has insisted that she didn’t hit her head.

    So learning a new skill today. How to move someone around who cannot walk without carrying her and also arranging wheelchair service at the airport to get her to and from and into the plane with my car which is a two door. Wifey managed to get a flat tyre yesterday. Oh joy.

    Chicago: Feeling the pressure.

  • 9 Oct 2023, 1:54 p.m.

    Ooof. Mother in law went from vigorous to very fragile yesterday. Getting her to the airport was fun as she refused hospital treatment even though her condition deteriorated during the day. Trying to get her down the back stairs to the garage was fun. I went to lift her and before i could all her ribs went pop pop pop and she screamed. Clearly I miss the old days when you had a chair lift or a stretcher.

    So anyway, we got her to the airport but getting her in and out of my sports car was a treat too. The police though were great and offered a helping hand. Of course she didn’t want it.

    The last time she visited she fell off the wagon and tried to stab me. This time fell down the stairs. Next time? Who knows.. I am pretty sure anything could happen.

    Chicago: Exhausted.

  • 9 Oct 2023, 2:33 p.m.

    Can't believe that you are still wittering on about your systematic attempts to off your mother in law, when there's important updates on the marathon runners in your colon to report on.

  • 9 Oct 2023, 3:42 p.m.

    I am hurting all over. Thank you for your concern.

    Chicago: Gutting it out.

  • 9 Oct 2023, 7:46 p.m.

    Fractured hip. Bugger. I suspected it by the way her foot was inverted but hoped it wouldn’t be. Surgery tomorrow to have a pin inserted.

    Mum in Law. Not my colon.

    Chicago: Late to the Party.

  • 9 Oct 2023, 7:59 p.m.

    So are you stuck with her? Or has she made it home?

  • Squad
    9 Oct 2023, 8:03 p.m.

    I suppose it’s one way to stop the in-law from thinking of visiting again.

  • 9 Oct 2023, 8:13 p.m.

    By some miracle we got her home.

    Chicago: magician

  • 9 Oct 2023, 9:01 p.m.

    You put her on a flight? With a fractured hip?!

  • 9 Oct 2023, 9:21 p.m.

    Suspected fractured hip at the time and yes she wanted to go home and didn’t want to go the hospital. Which is understandable as it was out of network, (fcuking private healthcare).

    She had wheelchair service before, during and after the flight and had someone assigned to her. It was all we could do if she wouldn’t stay.

    Chicago: Saint.

  • 9 Oct 2023, 10:24 p.m.

    Not mundane but medical, Matt Forde has a spine tumour and will be out of action for a while. Best of luck to him, always feel he's a good ambassador for his city.

  • 10 Oct 2023, 12:39 p.m.

    Well fcuk. Mother in Law had emergency surgery and had a partial hip replacement because the inside of her ball joint had been sheared off and she had lost bloody supply to the area. She was actually in danger of losing her leg. The doctors at the hospital thought it was just a hairline fracture until they got the scan back and rushed her in.

    Talk about escalation.

    So, we bought a five bedroom house with four flights of stairs at age 53 and 48 respectively. How long before it becomes a death trap? Real mum is visiting in the spring. I was thinking of installing crash pads or making the stairway a log flume. Or just banning her from going up and down the wooden stairs by herself. Fucking hell, don’t get old people!

    Or do weights.

    Chicago: learning a lesson.

  • 11 Oct 2023, 11:01 p.m.

    I moved house in the middle of covid to a town about 4 hours away from where I used to live, and I only just got round to going to see a new dentist - a three year gap between visits. Mundanely and pleasingly, everything is fine and I have no cavities.

  • 15 Oct 2023, 6:19 p.m.

    Even though I cannot seem to stay awake due to work, fires, floods and plain old douchery, I am getting my flu and Covid shots today in the hope that I won’t be any sleepier.

    Being this tired usually means I am fighting off something. Wouldn’t it be ironic if it’s the thing I haven’t had before/yet.

    Chicago: Sweaty.

  • 15 Oct 2023, 7:07 p.m.

    I now have just been bitten by the neighbours German Shepherd so that’s nice.

    Just another thing for my body to fight.

    Chicago: Fighting man.

  • 24 Oct 2023, 10:12 p.m.

    I am beginning to think that Alcohol isn't good for me anymore. Five or six large aperol spritzes Sunday night whilst playing pool in the attic resulted in my Monday being rather unpleasant with the trots. This normally doesn't happen but in the last two weeks this has affected me. Maybe my stomach has decided I should just switch to mushrooms permanently which could affect my pool/snooker game.

    Bugger.

    Chicago: Trying to take it easy.