Sadly my bid fell apart after a visit from the CWG hosting committee. At our school sports day, as usual, they were all winners. That middle class nonsense goes against the proud history of exploiting downtrodden regions for their labour and resources. “Hold my Pimms” I declared to my long-time friend and former The Royal Oak patron* The Crown Prince of Malaysia, “There is such a place 3 miles down the road, Cotgrave was raped for it’s mineral wealth and is packed full of losers!”.
The current event list in full (subject to change):
Running from Sheppard’s without paying for your £3.99 carvery
Throwing the drunken ex-miner out The Welfare
Hopping (seasonal farm work passed off as a family holiday down Kent)
Skipping bail
Jumping bail
Hurdling the fence of RoT Cricket Club with the bails you just nicked
Pin the exhaust pipe back on the stolen BMW you just stacked
Cycling (Drunk)
Football is different in the north east… en unemployed colliery migrants who settled in the midlands in the 70s but hasn’t worked since the 90s and arguably didn’t do a huge amount before then either.
*Supported by email evidence