Mumsnet

Need advice from the parents. So Russ can jog on.

Daughter's (10yo) annual residential trip is to be at Rock UK Summit Centre. The website looks great, I know rock climbing can be a massive confidence builder, the activities and reviews are great. All good.

Now, issues. The school she's at is a Church of Wales school. I had thought they say a prayer before lunch and visit the village church once in a while. But recently the church thing has crept into more stuff. Project touchline, what I thought was a rugby thing, kind of involves the church too. The name, "project touchline", suddenly rings alarm bells. They go to church weekly, and now she's singing in the church choir. She knows I'm not a fan of the church, having been exposed to too much Catholicism as a boy, and she used to love telling me how Christian she was becoming, but now she hates it.

Back to "Rock UK". My initial response to her was "is it Church? Sounds like Church stuff". Looked it up on the Wiki, fucking Evangelical.

Now I don't want to say no, she loves everything extra curricular, she loves every school residential she's been on, last year she stayed on a boat in London and met our Tory cunt MP, went to No. 10 and manged to not tell anyone to go fuck themselves. She's a good kid, she hates the church.

But those bastards beat the shit out of my Dad when he was at school and tried to touch my friend when I was about 10. I don't trust them.

So half of me is so furious they've chosen a Church based residential that I want to move her to the school a few miles away (she is Year 6, moving to secondary next year), half of me wants to cause a stir amongst parents about the batshit crazy God bollocks and try to force a change of destination, and half of me wants to just stump up the cash and let her go on what looks like a reasonably good confidence building trip. That's right, I've enraged myself to an extra half a person.

So, what do I do?

Red rag to a bull, that is.

I don't think one needs to be a parent to see where you've fucked up here, TBH. If you sent her to Coal Mining School and she came home with a hard hat, black face and a hacking cough, it probably wouldn't be too much of a shock and you wouldn't be getting yourself all worked up about how a fucking Coal Mining School sent your first born down a pit, because the clue was in the name. Equally, it's a bit rum to be getting mad that a school that literally advertises itself as a Church-affiliated school is doing Church stuff.

I could give you a bunch of talking to about conflating 60s Catholic institutions with the modern Anglican Church, something I reckon I'm pretty well placed to talk to, but I don't think that's what you're looking for.

Fuck the Church. Fuck indoctrination. Take her rock climbing at this place or a a different place. Let her rock climb. Change schools. Religion is awful and evil. She might want to please you but she is at an impressionable age. Keep her involved in activities like rock climbing and team building but not at anything that is religious. What's wrong with public school nowadays? Keep hold of your wonga and spend it on a holiday when she comes back from the local non religious school.

Go with your gut essentially. If your gut says bad, then take her away from this.... Being a parent is making the hard decisions. It is not to be the child's friend. It is your job to protect the child even if she doesn't like it.

Anyway as you were.

Chicago: Mercifully Childless.

Rock seems fine. Not all religious charities are child-abusing proselytisers. And they very commonly run secular stuff with no God-bothering at all.

But if she's at a religious school and is uncomfortable with that side of things, then it's a tough call to leave her in it.Leaving anyway? Then <shrug> wait it out.

I love a good mumsnet and I love it even more if it aims to exclude Russ but there is no getting around the fact he's bang on here.

Maybe embrace the God, it's unlikely but you might have backed the right horse. Only other suggestion I have involves Tricky, his new best church be-burning cowboy boots and a quick trip to Esso.

Why have you sent her to a religious school if you hate the church?

I think I'd just get over it. She's leaving the school soon anyway, and hates the church, so that's that. She won't be in the environment much any longer, and hasn't been indoctrinated, so that'll be the end of your concerns.

As for the residential being overly religious. It's a religious school. So there's a slightly religious away trip. Par for the course. I don't think they'll do too much religious stuff anyway. It'll mostly be outdoors stuff. Tell your daughter to suck it up for a few days, enjoy the place, and not take the religious stuff too seriously. Plus if anyone tries to touch her or is overly nasty to her, then she should call you immediately. Not that either of those things is remotely likely.

The Welsh are god’s chosen people? Now that’s a plot twist.

Would be my view, too. 'Church-affiliated school does some church stuff' doesn't strike me as outrageous - I say that as someone with zero interest in religion.

Mrs BW went to Catholic schools and I shudder at some of the stuff they filled their heads with as impressionable children. Not for me, and luckily our catchment schools for Little Miss BW (both good) are secular. If not, we might have had an issue.

I agree with Jim. Your daughter's in her last year at primary and will almost certainly view this as simply a trip away with her friends. The bits she takes from it will be the climbing and having fun.

Given your clearly strong (and understandable) views, hopefully her secondary school next year is not one where Jesus is regularly invited.

After 1000 years we, the church, have decided to stop being angry perverts. Yes, that must be the case.

I do think however in an age of Talkback where doing boneheaded things are on the decline and fresh meat is scarce I for one commend Jake for fronting up with this crackpotwittery for us all to mock, Cheers.

After last month he's probably lost faith in the jews. Bit like the labour party really.

Dad of four here, two of whom went to CofE primary schools and haven’t turned out crazy, apart from supporting Forest all their lives. I agree with the above. Stick with it but keep your eyes open. You’ve only got a few months until she changes school and to disrupt her education and break up friendships now would likely be counter productive.

As for Russ, as I recall he knows more than a fair bit about Anglican stuff so you might want to listen to what he says, whether or not he’s a parent.

My 2 have always been in religious schools. Either CofE or the Catholics.

We aren’t religious but those are the best schools by far round these parts. We even took them to be baptised to secure a place at the over subscribed secondary. Didn’t give a shit really, but kept an eye on the priest. Though tbh as mine are both girls they’re not really the target for the pervy Catholics.

Neither of my kids are religious at all, even after all the weekly sermons etc.They just shrug it off, though I always left it up to them.

The schools are very well run and get good grades and RC JR MKI just pissed her GCSEs by some margin getting 9s on everything. They are pretty strict tho which is leading to issues with RC JR MKII who definitely has her dad’s mouth and love of authority. but I’d sooner she was there than some of the don’t give a shit schools round here.

TLDR: god school = god stuff, but overall worth it.

Chose the school as it is in the village we live in. Daughter walks to school, gets to hang out after school with other friends from the village, in the holidays has kids nearby she can hang out with.

Next option was 2 miles away, so probably driven to and from school, wouldn't have got to know the kids in the village, I'd have spent Saturdays arranging playdates.

Didn't think the Church would be as involved as it is. Thought a prayer or two, some RE lessons, my understanding of it was a lot of schools did it just for the additional income but seems the Head at this place is really getting them involved with much more.

The bit that got my goat was the involvement of evangelicals in the residential trip. Met too many of them in my life. But they're subsidising it so by sending her they'll be able to get to less African kids, so on that basis she's going.

And you're probably all right (except Chic), the value of the activities will outway any religious negatives. And secondary won't be religious, unless we move.

Thanks huns.

I hope everyone remembers to #prayforjake

What?

I think he prefers to be known as Jacob now.