Here is the News.

I presume that one needs a pied a terre when one has cycled too far afield and consumed too many restorative beverages to safely navigate the A52, and the hills on Tollerton Lane seem too daunting.

I used to live much, much further up, at the Mapperley Top end at Plains Road.

Nothing ever happened. Except a lot of runners. I expect pod probably jogged on beneath my window on occasion.

My sister-in-law lives on Magdala Road.

Is she OK?

Or kinda stabby-lookin’?

I used to live on Ilkeston Rd, but I don’t know how stabby I look.

I moved away from Ilkeston Rd shortly after a girl was murdered outside the Drum nightclub in 2002 which was opposite the scabby flat I lived in.

I moved into a slightly less scabby flat nearby and the this dentist got murdered by his boyfriend a couple of streets up.

I don’t think anyone has been murdered in fairly close proximity to me since then, but Mansfield is a bit more beaty-uppy than stabby.

Is she OK?

Dunno.

We used to live off Magdala Road (Cyprus Road) and there were a couple of murders within a quarter of a mile of us.

Felt pretty smug moving to West Bridgford.

And within six months there was a double murder and suicide in the house whose garden backed onto ours.

Nottingham Necropolis.

Sounds like you are a serial killer, a serial killer with a decent property portfolio.

Hmm where was Florist in the early hours of Saturday the 9th of Nov 2002? It’s still an unsolved murder…

People of Southall will tell you about stabby medical professionals and shit within its leafy well to do Minster shadowed confines, so it's not just the underbelly of the stabby inner city that's a bit stabby on occasion.

I used to use a launderette and get occasional takeaways from the decent kebab place on Ilkeston Road back in the 90s. Makes you think....

Can you have a portfolio of one?

2 Notts Uni students amongst the 3 murdered.

Bloody hell. Probably coming home from a night out. Poor sods.