Ex-Forest players

My word you weren't kidding.

www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1iku05s/birmingham_2_2_newcastle_iwata_40/

Pick that out.

Gordon's (not) alive.

Sadly no mention of his hatred of the sheep.

Went to the Nottingham Legends v United Legends game at Carlton Town yesterday.
Nottingham legends included Des Walker, Chris Cohen, Paul McKenna, Paul Anderson, Marlon Harewood, Spencer Weir-Daley and Jason Lee (Jemmo and ISM also in attendance).
United legends, managed by Big Ron, included David May, Wes Brown, Russell Beardsmore, Clayton Blackmore, Ben Thornley, Danny Pugh and Danny Webber.
Forest won 9-3, with 45-year-old Marlon getting five (including a stunning back-heel volley) and two for 36-year-old Paul Anderson - the pair of them were pretty much unplayable. Most of United's players were old (Blackmore is 60) or out of shape (May had to have a different shirt presumably as the kit didn't fit) - although Pugh and Webber were very good.

The word 'legend' is doing a lot of work there.

For the last time please please please stop sending me sex pests.

Jamie Paterson has joined Coventry.

Brennan Johnson is apparently dating Lily Phillips, a porn actress who last fucked 101 men in 24 hours.

It must be really embarrassing for parents to find out your child is dating a Spurs player.

Loaf, seems like your mum is dating again.

Appreciate that this is probably written purely for the Spurs gag, but Brennan is apparently engaged to a model called Tilde Cilla Syah who he's been with for a couple of years.

Lily Phillips and her pal Bonnie Blue seem to be making a fortune off this kind of publicity. The latter was all over the Twatter a few days ago with reports she'd fallen pregnant to one of the hundred-plus guys who took part in her similar 24-hour shag fest.

Yeah, they pop up in my Instagram "feed" regularly. They posted a video of themselves in the disabled loo at a Derby home game recently and invited anyone that wasn't enjoying the game to come join them. You'd have to be a really odd man to jump at that sort of opportunity and go for it.

I think she was putting it out there herself to drum up more ££. She did a video alluding that she was going to live stream the birth. Then backtracked and said she wasn't even pregnant the following day.

Proper mental health issues the two of them. Really need help.

Correct. I have no idea who Brennan, or any other footballer, is dating. I didn't even write the gag myself, the whole thing was a lazy theft.

Even I couldn't be arsed recycling that one on hunsbook when it came up*

*I was doing but got distracted and promptly forgot all about it until just now.

Conte said Djed Spence was shite.
Now he’s fucking dynamite

Nice article….(even if contains a few of those meaningless bits of data that simply serve to satisfy the bookies)

Although I note he’s on the bench tonight…