Crystal Palace v Nottingham Forest, 2023-05-28 16:30 BST

I think we can make a sentimental pick of Colback and rest anyone who looks a bit injured, so something like:

Hennessy; Aurier, Worrall, Boly, Toffolo; Yates, Mangala, Colback; Brennan, MGW, Mighten.

Also tell Jack he has carte blanche to shoot from absolutely anywhere on the pitch, and he's our designated penalty taker for the day.

Ah Fuck it. Make Jack Left Back and Toff Right back. Zaha will literally lick his chops so much they will fall off the bone.

A midfield three of Wiley, Remo and Jon Jo Mardy. Don't worry Ayew will save the day latter when we need someone to run around and not do much other than miss penalties.

I will enjoy every second off it especially when JLingz signs off with a couple of goals.

Chicago: Expecting a right pigs ear.

Zara is out through injury.

Not so sure about playing a second 11. I would start with the same team that started against Southampton and Arsenal. They're all about to go off on the longest break of the football year anyway, so unless there are niggling injuries, carry on with a winning team. Give them another chance to get to know one another's game in a competitive match. And £3.5m is a useful reward for winning the game.

Navas, Felipe and Danilo all limped off on Sunday. Why risk them?

If any of the three are not fit 7 days later, then of course we shouldn't play them. My point is that we shouldn't rest players for the sake of it. Far better to give a winning team a further chance to gel.

Besides, it'd be quite nice to finish 15th and above the muff after Everton win to doom Le***ster and Leed.

As I said, we should (obviously) not play players who are injured, even with minor niggles. But it's pretty common for players to limp off and be right as rain 24 hours later. So I would play the most recent team. Even SSC doesn't know for sure who's coming through the door over the summer. So for now it makes sense to play the same team, as far as possible.

Navas out. Felipe and Danilo doubtful.

It’s Hennessy whiskey time! (Let’s face it who actually likes Brandy?).

Wayne saves a penalty then kicks Zaha in the face and gets sent off.

Wiley and Andre play for the adulation from the Palarse crowd and jlingz scores a brace auditioning for the MLS. Jack will make an appearance at left back…

There will be beach volley balls and Liverpool fans will shudder! (Volleyball gate was soooo funny!)

It will be a party in my pants either way so why stress… (unless Fester escape and then I will be cross…)

Chicago: Expecting a vastly different team.

Zaha is injured and not playing. If Wiley is Willy Boly, think you might be getting him confused with former Palace player Kouyaté, you hairy racist. Also it's the other Ayew, Jordan, who plays for Palace.

Wily Kouyate, I think...!

Then I withdraw the accusation of racism.