Christmas 2025

It is the only way they'll learn.

We’re on year 9 of a real tree.

9 yrs ago I put the withered, dried corpse of a tree down the back garden and mused about buying a potted one and bringing it in/out every year and watching it grow.

I never did because effort and they take 7yrs to grow to 7ft anyway.

Would be quids in by now. Meanwhile there’s 8 dried tree corpses cursing my name.

Surely growing a tree and composting it is better for environment than having a hunk of plastic shit you are eventually going to landfill?

Isn’t it? I’m basically Swampy!

Plastic bags were invented to save trees and prevent deforestation.

His beer-induced methane emissions say otherwise.

Incorrect. I barely drink beer these days, I'm all about wine and vodka.

Come on Russ. We're all middle aged (at best) mostly married men. We need more details.

Yeah, it’s either horny Russ’ hook-up stories or Porn-Hub.

Details on what? It's mostly just going out drinking with different groups of friends.

I don't have much in the way of hook up stories, I'm afraid. I have a semi-regular booty call which is fun, and there's a woman I'm hopefully going out with in the next week or two, but I'm not exactly laying waste to the female population of Toronto.

Since Jan 2003 I’ve been self-restricted to 1 woman (which other women are likely grateful for). As far as I’m concerned you’re Lord fucking Byron.

Only shorter.

Tell us about the parties. Who are the people. How do you know them. Which ladies did you consider trying to bang.

I'm not going to lie to you, after 23 years of similarly self imposed monogamy and a 100% track record of loyalty, this whole single life thing really is everything it's cracked up to be.

Well, I haven't been to most of them yet. Had a couple of nights out this week. One of them was also attended by my regular booty call, who did indeed come back with me afterwards.

I'll let you know if anything titillating happens at the next ones.