A kid can wait years for a CAMs councillor, and doesn't get on the priority list until they've actually attempted suicide.
Which in fairness is the sort of thing I'd be likely to bang on about to a counsellor in the unlikely event I could ever afford to pay for one (or even more unlikely get referred to one on t'e 'ealth.).
Had to jump through a bunch of hoops to finally speak to someone and then just drifted away from it as far as therapy was concerned. Should really get back on it at some point as I believe it’s worked well for the stoic “it’s character building/pain is weakness leaving the body” menfolk of my family.
Saw a psychologist to get the whole ball rolling beforehand and found out some vaguely interesting stuff though: most tests were high average, if I get flustered my test aptitude plummets, and apparently I “should have been an architect” as my memory recall in drawing and redrawing a complex geometric design after 15, 30 and 60 minutes was off the charts. Undiagnosed/untreated anxiety and depression less welcome, obviously.
Clearly it's a good thing if people can get a talking therapy that improves their lot. It's not necessarily for everyone though. Also measuring can be good....but measuring can be bad. There is some interesting research, dating back fifty years or so and increasingly of prominence recently, that the over medicalisation of conditions can actually be counter productive. You may feel better for not just toughening up princess, but there is some evidence that the statistical outcomes can be worse for overall health outcomes (and I've been personally on the end of 'get a dog' advice from a doctor, when I was suffering from a post-viral condition, depression, and living in student digs in london....not massively brilliant doctoring for a teenager). There are industries for whom getting wealthy people to examine in minuscule detail their health profile, and ignoring poor people to the ultimate conclusion of premature death, are a standard operating procedure.
There are of course different strokes, for different folks, and there are certainly some people that have chronic conditions which they need help with.....but for large sections of society what we really need is a society for the people, not to damage, disenfranchise, and destabilise them, so that they are more easily exploited. Something a bit more scandanavian would lead to better health outcomes than fixing the odd wealthy person with access to help, and fuck everyone else.
As with most of the ills of society, we should be looking for the cunts with the petrol and matches, not jump on every smouldering patch. Our mental wellbeing is being massively compromised by the world that we are accepting living in. Kids are dying in their multitudes, self harming, giving up with no hope of ever having a positive life experience, unwilling to bring children into the world never mind financially and circumstantially unable to.
I can't help but wonder how much better everyone might feel if they mentored, supported, developed kids (and I know some of you do), and spent their energy making a better world, rather than sitting on a couch chatting about how crap their first world problems are (and they are crap, it's not a competition, if something makes you feel bad, it's pain...there is no more or lesser pain, than the pain that you feel). The human condition is ups and downs, pain, hurt, regret, disappointment, the joy of a sunny day, the smile of someone that you love.....there is some merit to feeling those, and kipling them into the triumph and disaster boxes, rather than matrixing them out into a uniform homogeneous grey thing.
So it's good that Russ can undertake therapy, if he feels that he can benefit from it. Apart from him hating kids, I wonder if he might actually feel better mentoring a kid, who was in more desperate need of help, with that time money and energy. We are involved with mentoring some young people...and the things they achieve from a much lower base is impressive and humbling. It certainly puts my problems into context...and I'm willing to bet I'm a lot more fucked up than Russ.
Even doing a little thing to improve their lot, and the genuine happiness that is reflected back many times over, is a really positive transaction mental health wise.
I'm not saying that being in therapy for years, or regularly having a finger up your bum, aren't valuable health checks. They might be exactly the right things for you, and nothing else required. I am saying have a think about what might actually be the best contributors to your overall health...maybe go for a bike ride...or get a dog? Definitely fuck the tories.
I know that can sound judgemental, but really it isn't. I'm a believer in fixing the disease, not constantly chasing the symptoms. It's said because I believe there is a value in actually thinking about what we want....and it can be enlightened self-interest to fix things outside our own personal sphere, and the positive reflection that can have on us....and also it's maybe the only real solution.
Funny you should say that, I've actually just recently done some work at the invitation of a colleague with a program called Junior Achievement which is all about working with kids aged 14-17, generally from less advantaged backgrounds, to understand how businesses work and shape their career thinking. Training them has been great fun, and when they actually took the gold medal for the stuff I've been teaching them at the regional trade event competing against 30 other JA chapters it was an incredibly good feeling. So it's not much so far, but I want to do it more. I agree that it's incredibly rewarding.
None of that is going to help me figure out why I can't stop women who are bad for me though. Hence, therapy also good.
That's the thinking with the little head problem. Unlikely that you can get to it through rationalising with the big head, via a stranger. But obviously you are at liberty to give it a crack.
Therapy is first and foremost you leading to accountability. Owning your own behaviour. Everything else is just smoke. I actually enjoyed therapy because I have always been honest with myself and regardless of what people think generally like myself. Wifey who desperately needed therapy because of her childhood abuse avoided it like the plague and found reasons to blame me for everything. Therapy in the early days told me that I shouldn't take on other people's problems and just control the things I can control. That led to me not blaming myself for my wife's out of control behaviour. Turns out it was her and not me. This allowed me to take back the power of emotional abuse that was being inflicted on me because I understood it had absolutely nothing to do with me.
So for me it was very productive. For her it was too difficult at times because even to this day she cannot accept responsibility for things. I am in the position to understand this and basically won't put up with it. She still needs to sort out her demons but never will as she doesn't want to. She has worked on her physical health by stopping drinking and exercising and getting new opportunities in the job market that are rewarding for her.
Therapy only works if you want it to. You have to be really honest with yourself. it's pretty freeing. I am lucky because I haven't been afforded the time to come up with excuses.
As with working with kids. I did that. Worked with underpriviledged kids from terrible homes. They got better and were nicer versions of themselves when they went home. unfortunately America has the horrible habit of medicating their children if they are a problem. Kind of heartbreaking..
Anyway, carry on.
Chicago: Pretty Lucid.
