Big life stuff

Thanks everyone, I genuinely appreciate the kind words and the advice that everyone has given on this thread and privately. It has helped more than you know.

I feel like I have simultaneously completely fucked up my life and also made a huge step towards fixing it. I am really excited about what might come next while also terrified of what might come next, and I feel so bad for what I've done to her while also feeling a huge sense of relief at finally being honest about what she's clearly sensed for some time.

I am not adulting good right now.

Not really because I'm already doing a lot of things for me. This is just a big step in a journey I already started.

TBH I'm actually going to miss that a lot.

Sorry to hear this but it sounds like you’ve taken a bit of time to come to the decision so I’m sure it’s the right thing.
Are you planning on going back to the city then?

Now I feel bad I couldn't make it to New York because I feel I could have been some sort of support even though I am sure it would have been a frantic messy weekend.

I was in the same position as you during the height of covid (as in marital wise), but I decided to stick rather than twist. The gut usually is the way to go. You have to do what you think is right for you. Best wishes to Kel too. We love you both.

Yeah, we'd already agreed to sell one of the rentals and buy a place in the city, now that's going to accelerate and just be a me thing (which tbh it always was anyway).

Thanks mate, I appreciate that very much.

How very sad. I hope in time it all works out.

Yes, best of luck Russ.

Good luck Russ, I'm sure it's scary now, but these things usually work out for the best.

Good luck mate. You've taken the time to make a decision, which usually means you will have made a good one - both for you and for her. One step at a time...

Good luck young man.
Hope it all goes smoothly or as smoothly as it can.

Could go in the Pleasing thread but it makes sense to continue the narrative stream here: as of a week on Monday I am once more going to be a resident of Toronto. Decided to just rent a place for now, the condo market is mental right now (as in it appears to be on the verge of a significant crash) and I don't actually know if I want to be in a downtown condo long term, plus it's quicker to rent than buy, so I'm taking the next 12 months to live it up as a single man in the big city and see what transpires from there.

Things at home are weird and awkward but amicable, I'll likely be up here semi-regularly and I'm planning to leave a lot of my stuff here for now, or until she decides she wants to sell and move herself (which she has been seriously considering doing next year). So exciting times ahead, I hope.

I really enjoyed the two weeks we spent in Toronto last year ... Though I'm not sure I'd want to live there long term. Had a little browse while we were there at the rental prices, and they are indeed crazy. More than London even (or at least on par).

My favourite thing was going out to spend the morning having a jog around Centre Island, I thought that was a really cool place. Interesting situation to get a house there involving a lottery system!

torontoisland.org/

I love Toronto, it's probably the place I most consider home these days. Got lots of friends there still, it's a huge, safe, vibrant city with tons to do. It's a city of neighbourhoods, once you get out of the core and go explore what's going on in the various hoods it just comes to life. Rents are high but it's only for a year, so I'm going to suck it up and enjoy living free of responsibility to anyone or anything for a few months.

The Islands are beautiful, my friend manages the big cafe there. It burned down at the beginning of this year so they've spent all summer rebuilding.

When we sort out our finances and settle the lawsuit then 2025 will be a year for traveling hopefully. Not sure Bhutan will be in the next 12 months but definitely the year after. Wifey has fallen off the wagon whilst in Carolina so I guess if we visit it will be more fun. Her 50th is next March so I think I have to take her to Italy so Mus might have to be on high alert too.

Good luck with the next 12 months. I was single for a week working like a bastard and caring for pets (including the diabetic cat). It’s a lot of fucking work and I am knackered. Hopefully your system works better than mine.

Chicago: Feeling my age.