Apocalyptic weather

Decided after being hammered with work for months now to not play football this morning as it seemed Awfully hot even early. This of course makes me a liar as I promised my friends that I would at least give it a go as the earlier times means there are a lot less arseholes playing who want to kick lumps out of me due to my teams destroying all the opposition during our pomp. Nowadays most of those players don’t play in the league but do play pick up/scrimmage whatever you like to call it nowadays. At night the standard is better with younger cockier players who are aggressive and remember me as a pretty physical player in my prime.

Anyway, I didn’t play this morning and decided to spend a the time finishing off my book in the garden and under a sun umbrella no less. It was very close and I felt unreasonably hot. I took off my shirt and read for a while. I didn’t think for very long. This afternoon I have sun burn all over my body especially over my chest not the mild stuff either. Is there any ozone left?!?!?!

Chicago: Lobster tail.

Did you, uh, wear sunscreen?

No. I was under a giant black sun umbrella. Clearly those things don’t work.

Stupid weather. Now it is hogging it down and the gutters are overflowing which makes me wonder if we have a problem on the roof. Contractors come Wednesday supposedly to rip up the basement to prevent mold but it might not be the drain tile it could be the gutters (which are new) and a hole in the extension in the basement.

Damn.

Chicago: Burning and drowning at the same time.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.

Avoiding yellow snow would be another.

Always shit on the the black and white side of the Trent completes the triumvirate of advice.

Well I had my first Tornado night last night as the normally safe Chicagoland turned into a Soupy Burma weather wise and then spawned loads of Twisters. We had one touchdown five minutes away from us. We were firmly in our basement at that time because of sirens and err the neighbour calling us and screaming, "Sirens means 2 minutes away! Don't go Outside!". Spoilsport!

Anyway, no harm done. Missed us by more than a whisker. Unfortunately the violent storms which have been mostly hitting us for the last two weeks have caused havoc on some of our basement. The far end where we (wifey, I and the three cats) ensconced is pretty secure, but unfortunately the top end where the stairs come down to our formerly delightfully finished and decorated lower dwellings have been plagued by flooding and water seepage.

Because the Developer cut corners like the absolute Cnut that he is, we found membrane that is meant to be in the walls to push water to the drain tile was missing and in some cases cut down so low they weren't doing a fucking thing. We surmised that they only had one roll of weather proofing and rather than buy a second one (the basement is very big) they just cut it down and used it that way.

Anyway, it is going to cost $40,000 (that's more than 12 quid in Ingo money), to put the whole thing back to where it was. All the finishings on the right side of the area (we sheltered in the left) have been ripped out and we have to replace the stairs coming down from the lobby as water had found it's way in from shit construction on the extension and mold was forming under there and on the floor. This also means replacing the dry wall and some concrete. Woo Hoo!!!! (let's hope when we start next week we don't have more Tornado weather).

The best part? The people we trust to get the work done properly only take cash or Cheque due to old clients of theirs charging back on the credit card. So I have to get an interest free credit card and buy loads of stuff from my wife's business to convert it to cash because it's cheaper than paypal.

So shit crooked developer + Crazy apocalyptic weather storms = Loads of fun and no fucking money ever again!!!!!!!!!!!

Chicago: Yay!

Definitely money laundering here, I'm just unsure if it is by the builders, your wife, you or all of the above.

Anyway, Mangetout will be on to you, sounds like his thing (ish).

He's a banker and I mean that with respect...

Chicago: Cash Poor.

WELL FUCK!

We didn't lose power last night and all was well until a delivery driver who was dropping off supplies to Wifey at the house drove straight into the power lines!!!!!! Now he cannot get out of his vehicle otherwise he might be electrocuted and we can't get our delivery!

You couldn't make this shit up!

Chicago: Feeling powerless.

Hmm, feel this character has jumped the shark with these latest twists.

For future reference, if there's a tornado risk again you need to take shelter at Soldier Field as touchdowns don't happen there.

(Nicked from elsewhere but it's a good one.)

I'm in fraud prevention rather than anti money laundering, so fill yer boots. Not allowed to tell someone that's what they are doing because that's tipping them off. AML is boring as heck compared to fraud, but they get paid a lot more because statutory compliance and shit. Bastards.

Well considering I have met most of the people on this board but not you I can only conclude that you were the one driving said lorry/truck into the electrical wire. You thoughtless bastard!

Chicago: As real as it gets.

What I’m a Russian Spybot now?

Next thing you will telling everyone that you don’t drink tea!

Chicago: Fighting the disinformation.