2023 Summer transfers

I have seen a bloke wanking off on a train under his tracksuit, but I have always thought it was aimed at the teenage girls sitting opposite, but now I'm wondering...

We're train wank magnets

This new YMCA song seems a bit niche.

Soyuncu signs with Atletico. He's good, but Felipe is better.

Tammy Abraham now knee-knacked. Shame, he was my hope for this window.
Maybe we could go for his mate Dybala who allegedly has a 12m release clause….

If the rumour mills are to be believed (or, at least, accurately tell us which players are being hawked around by their agents) people keep deciding not to sign Dybala… so I assume he’s a massive twat or something. As well as too fancy for the likes of us.

Not sure a fucked ACL is necessarily an obstacle to passing a Forest medical.

If he can read the bottom line on the eye chart he gets a golden buzzer.

After all, medicals are all about eye sight.

Articles are suggesting we are in for Tyler Adams. He has a relegation release clause. He’s a nasty bugger but a good player. I am in favour of this.

Although he has been injured for a while. Let’s hope he passes the eye test.

Chicago: Midfield Maverick.

Yes I also saw that. I can't say I know much about him. I briefly googled him. USA captain? Ok. Can't be a bad player then. What style of player is he? Where would he fit in our team? I guess when Russ our local Leeds fan wakes up he can tell us.

He is excellent. Ryan Yates with better ability on the ball. Would be a huge fan of getting him.

Won 2 and drew 2 of their 12 games after his last one, compared to 5 wins and 8 draws from the 24 games he started, suggests his injury played a significant part in their relegation.

Allan saint maximum has posted something that looks like a goodbye to Newcastle. Personally I would prefer Silas as he is cheaper but how mental would that be?

He would probably drive Coops up the wall like Dennis so sadly I cannot see that happening. Would be hilarious if it did.

Chicago: Rumour monger.